Alireza Fazeli Monfared wanted to live as a free gay man in the West. His family in Iran beheaded him days before his dream came true, say activists.


Alireza Fazeli Monfared
  • Alireza Fazeli Monfared, a 20-year-old gay Iranian man, was killed in an alleged “honor killing.”

  • He was days away from fleeing Iran because of homophobic persecution, according to voice notes obtained by Insider.

  • “The International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia is coming up on Monday. On that day, we should speak out about this,’ an activist said.

  • Visit Insider’s homepage for more stories.

Alireza Fazeli Monfared, a 20-year old Iranian man, was beheaded in an “honor killing” by family members after they learned that he was gay, according to an Iranian human rights group.

Monfared was murdered on May 4 – just a few days after his half-brother learned about his sexuality, the Iranian LGBTQ network 6Rang told Insider after conversations with Monfared’s mother and close friend.

He was seeking a permanent exemption from Iran’s compulsory military service so that he could claim asylum elsewhere, Monfared said in several audio messages.

But five days before he was due to leave Iran, his half-brother discovered paperwork for his military exemption detailing his sexuality. This was the trigger for his relatives to take him to a remote village and cut his life short in the most brutal way, 6Rang’s executive director Shadi Amin said.

The 20-year-old’s murder has sparked a global outcry, including social media posts by the likes of Demi Lovato. But Iranian human rights activists have said that it is emblematic of the daily persecution gay people in Iran face.

Okan Sengun, executive director and co-founder of the LGBT Asylum Project, said: “The International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia’ is coming up on Monday (May 17). On that day, we should speak out about this. Make sure that these laws change. That’s key.”

Read more: How to support nonbinary and trans colleagues at work, and the email template to use if you accidentally misgender them

‘I have been threatened by my father’s side of the family’

Alireza Fazeli Monfared

Monfared was a 20-year-old Arab-Iranian from Ahvaz, the capital of Iran’s Khuzestan province.

He was his mother’s only child but had half-siblings from his father’s previous marriage.

His family was wealthy, and his Instagram page shows a love of designer fashion.

He also enjoyed experimenting with makeup but felt unable to do so in public. “Pressure means not being able to behave however you want in society,” he said in a voice recording sent to a friend and forwarded to Insider. “For example, I would like to walk around with a bit of make-up, but you know how Ahvaz is.”

His family was unhappy with the way he presented himself, the executive director of 6Rang said. “The clothes he chose, using makeup, none of that is usual in Iran for a young man,” Amin said.

The family’s disapproval led to violent threats from relatives. “I have been threatened by my father’s side of the family – murder and such,” he said in another voice recording. “My father sided with them.”

Monfared dreamt of fleeing Iran and starting a new life in Europe. “I’m wondering whether I should go to Sweden or Noway,” he explained in one of the audio messages.

He planned to escape to Turkey mid-May and then, once there, to apply for asylum elsewhere, Amin said. “He was not ready to continue this conflict with his family,” she added.

But to leave Iran, the young man first had to receive his military exemption.

Homosexuality is considered a psychological disease in Iran

While being gay is forbidden in Iran and punishable by death, the law allows gay men to forgo military service.

“Those who have special conditions can get an exemption; if they have a particular illness, or a missing limb, or other physical issues,” Jasmin Ramsey, communications director for the Center for Human Rights in Iran, told Insider.

“Homosexuality is also considered a psychological disease in Iran and the military’s military board can exempt a gay man from service if they are deemed homosexual after an examination,” she added.

Monfared’s exemption was close to being approved and he was planning to flee imminently, Amin said. But when documentation for his exemption arrived, it was not Monfared who first opened the letter.

A relative opened his mail and read information confirming Monfared’s sexuality, Amin continued. “I think their hate of homosexuality was so huge that they decided to kill him,” she added.

On May 4, Monfared made the final preparations for his departure. He went to a local store to try and sell his cellphone, according to Amin.

Three male relatives – a half-brother and two cousins – were waiting for him in a car outside the store. They told Monfared that his father needed to speak to him urgently and that they would drive him home.

The relatives then drove the 20-year-old to a rural village, Amin said. It was there that they allegedly murdered him with a knife.

Monfared’s mother was then called by a relative and told to visit a location in the rural village. A day later, she found her son’s beheaded body.

His distraught mother was later hospitalized for shock. According to several sources, no arrests have been made yet.

Insider requested confirmation from the Iranian Embassy in London but a response was not immediately provided.

‘He was so full of life’

The news of Monfared’s tragic death has sparked an international outcry.

Celebrities, including actress and singer Demi Lovato, have shared posts commemorating the young man on social media.

Masih Alinejad, a prominent Iranian activist, living in exile in New York, uses her platform of five million Instagram followers to raise awareness about the killing.

The story is harrowing for her, she said, because Monfared was a fan and followed her on Instagram. “I went to look at his page and I found that he was so full of life,” she told Insider. “Immediately, I posted about his death on my social media and it went viral. I wish he had received this sort of attention while he was alive.”

In response to her post, members of the LGBTQ communities living in Iran sent her clips – secretly filmed – chronicling the difficulties of living in a country opposed to their existence. Iranians who send videos to Alinejad face up to 10 years in prison, the head of Tehran’s Revolutionary Court warned in July 2019.

The activist hopes that the videos inform people of queer people’s lives in Iran, where punishments for being gay range from 100 lashes of the whip to execution.

Ramsey, the communications director for the Center for Human Rights in Iran, said homophobia is widespread in Iran.

“LGBTQ people must conceal their sexual identity if they want to avoid being discriminated against, mentally or physically harmed, or prosecuted. At the same time, they have no means of redress for rights violations and abuses because revealing their identity could get them prosecuted,” she said.

In the days following the murder, Okan Sengun of the LGBT Asylum Project said he received many emails from gay Iranians who are heartbroken by Monfared’s death.”They’re all saying a similar thing,” Sengun told Insider. “‘I don’t want to be the next Alireza.'”

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